How To Choose Your People Chapter 11

Chapter 11 — Anger (1.5)

ANGER (1.5)

Anger: 1) a feeling of extreme displeasure, hostility, indignation, or exasperation toward someone or something; rage; wrath; ire.

– American Heritage Dictionary

Bristling with a case of permanent distemper, he rants, raves, rages, seethes, fumes, blames and complains. He's the neighborhood crank who kicks the kids off the vacant lot in the middle of the ball game. He's the impatient driver who starts honking a millisecond after the stop light changes and shouts obscenities out the car window. He's the tyrant father who berates and belittles the child. He's the boss who keeps the whole office staff in terror. He's the wife beater. The rapist. His game is stopping things. When he isn't boiling over, he's simmering. The 1.5 tone ranges from seething resentment at the bottom, through expressed bad temper, up to a smashing rage on the top.

"I'M RIGHT WHENEVER I'M WRONG"

This one tells you what's wrong with things; that's all he tells you. You're wrong; they're wrong; it's wrong. The only thing he never says is "I'm wrong." He's always right – even when he's wrong. Don't try to confuse him with facts. This isn't the only tone trying to make others wrong (every tone below 2.0 does it one way or another), but the 1.5 is direct about it. You always know where you stand with him; you're wrong, of course, just by being there.

ALL REALITY IS PERVERTED

Did you ever hear an Angry man tell the truth? I once tried to imagine how a man and wife could have a real fight if they spoke only the truth, without generalities and exaggerations. The usual argument goes something like this:

HE: "When are you ever going to learn to cook? This food tastes terrible!"

SHE: "You're always criticizing my cooking. You never appreciate all the work I do for you."

HE: "Sure I do. I'm always telling you what a good wife you are." SHE: "You do not! You don't even love me!" (Exits slamming door) HE: "Women! They're impossible!"

If you removed all the generalities from this dispute and substituted nothing but facts, it would sound something like this:

HE: "The gravy is a bit thin tonight."

SHE: "That's the fiftieth time you've criticized my cooking. In fact, on one hundred and seventy-eight occasions during our marriage you showed a lack of appreciation for my efforts."

HE: "That's true. However, I've complimented you three hundred and seventy eight times."

SHE: "By my count, there were only three hundred and fourteen genuine compliments and fifty-seven implied approvals. The seven additional compliments you claim, apparently did not seem like compliments to me. This imbalance of agreement leads me to believe that you don't love me." (Exit)

HE: "That woman! Forty-three thousand two hundred and eighty-seven times I have been unable to comprehend and converse intelligently with her." A fight without a bit of untruth just isn't a fight. No producer would buy that script.

"I AM SOMEBODY"

His oversized ego and aggressiveness frequently win him a position as boss. He appears to be a man of action, but usually he merely creates a flurry that's mostly noise. When the dust settles, we can see that little was accomplished.

Since his blustering distemper thrives best in a climate of emergencies, he frequently creates them.

He knows exactly how to handle people: "Tell them off," "I say, shoot em all," "You gotta be tough to get along in this world."

OBEY!

The angry person is hung up on obedience.

I once worked for a company owned by a 1.5. He was fanatic about cleanliness and order, so when he was expected in town, the whole office force scurried around spiffing up the place.

On one such visit, the big boss marched through the halls glancing into rooms until he came to the empty office of the sales manager where he noticed a hat lying on the desk. Erupting in rage, he screamed: "What's the matter with these idiots? What do they think we have coat closets for?"

He continued his virulent outburst as he picked up the hat, slammed open the window and slung the offending headgear out of the twenty-first story of the building. Just as the sales manager returned to his office with one of the company's biggest clients, the client's hat caught in the breeze and sailed off like a glorious kite across the city of Detroit.

The company lost a client.

ON THE JOB

High-tone creative people don't want to work for a 1.5. Anger is dedicated to driving them downscale and killing all creativeness. In addition to demands for obedience, he uses threats, punishment and alarming lies to dominate. He gives enigmatic, incomplete orders, and after the job is done he criticizes by saying, "I didn't tell you to do it that way."

A friend of mine told me about showing a presentation to his 1.5 boss who said, "That's all wrong! Do this. Change that."

After my friend made all of the indicated changes, he returned the proposal for approval. This time the boss yelled: "Where on earth did you get these stupid ideas?"

In business the 1.5 will not delegate responsibility to subordinates. He tries to keep control of everything while complaining that "no one can do anything for himself around here. I have to do it all."

Because of his inability to give clear, understandable orders, and because of his constant threatening interference, the 1.5's subordinates become confused people – lacking in confidence and ability. They've been wrong so often that most of them end up stuck in Fear, Grief or Apathy. At best, they'll become 1.1s.

Anger's underlying obsession is a desire to make people remain in one place. The angry parent says, "Stop running," "Stop doing that." Too civilized to actually kill people (usually), the 1.5 tries to reduce them to Apathy. After he succeeds, he attempts to straighten things out by demanding obedience.

I once knew a 1.5 boss who whipped his people into frenzied activity ("Let's get some action here") – the staff members were nervous and busy – but little was ever accomplished. He went away for a month, however, and the entire atmosphere changed. People were punctual, cheerful, relaxed and at least twice as much work was accomplished.

SMASH AND DESTROY

The death-talker who plans revolts is a 1.5. He's going to save the country (by destroying it). He won't listen to a constructive plan unless he can turn it to destruction. Here we find warmongers and dictators.

He spreads dour and terrible news and generally won't pass on good news. He prefers to spread tidings of alarm. He asserts that all is about to be destroyed and that destruction alone can prevent destruction from taking place. Sounds like madness, doesn't it? It is.

I read an underground newspaper which was handed out to Ann Arbor high school students. In the middle of a "peace" article, it said, "We'll stop war, even if we have to fight to do it."

The 1.5 will destroy any and all ethics (as will anyone from here on down the scale). He's actively dishonest. I read another underground newspaper published by an anarchist group which said: "For too long now, sisters and brothers have been getting ripped off in this community. The criminal element has run wild like a pack of mad dogs, busting and harassing our people at will. It's time we got it together enough so our culture has some 'police protection.' In other words, we need some protection against the police (pigs). The LSD trip is one way to get this together. . .

The first thing to be done is arming and training of each affinity group . . . The M-l carbine is the ideal weapon for situations we are likely to encounter."

The article went on to suggest regular target practice, exercises in gun cleaning and more. The rest of the paper consisted of a "drug market report" giving prices and quality of drugs currently on the local market. In typical 1.5 conduct, this group would destroy the "enemy" (organized police forces) with guns and its own participants with drugs.

People will let themselves be led by someone who is in the next level up on the scale. Therefore, all of the gullible souls in the Fear band can be easily influenced and pushed into action by the 1.5.

SENSE OF HUMOR

His sense of humor (if you can call it that) consists of laughter at very painful misfortunes. Fall down and break your neck and the 1.5 will think it's hilarious.

His real "pleasure" in life comes from venting his Anger; he enjoys being dangerous. He describes with relish how he "really told them off" or "busted him in the nose."

At this position on the tone scale we find total unreasoning "bravery." He gets his kicks from taking high risks – especially toward destruction of other people and things. Many war heroes (but not all) operated on nothing more than the false bravado of the 1.5, this, of course, looks pretty awesome to the cowardly tones below it.

If you've ever experienced a moment of rage when it was tremendously satisfying to smash a plate or slam a door, you can understand this tone. Rage is the high side of 1.5 and if a person is here chronically, smashing things is his form of pleasure.

"I OWN PEOPLE"

Not particularly interested in viewpoints unless they fortify his own, he usually shuts off the other person's conversation by interrupting or refusing to listen. Once he decides you shouldn't be what you are or do what you're doing, he accepts no excuse or explanation.

While working for the company I mentioned earlier (owned by the 1.5), I heard this story about one of our young engineers: He was on vacation, but came to the office to pick up a paycheck. Not knowing the owner was in town, he wore a pair of slacks and a wildly colorful sport shirt. To his alarm, he stepped out of the elevator directly in front of the big boss. Scowling at the casual apparel, the boss snarled, "Young man, do you work for me?"

Demonstrating mental agility and a high survival instinct, the engineer promptly replied, "No, sir. I'm on the wrong floor."

Quickly wheeling around, he vanished down the stairway.

RELAY

If you leave a message with him, know that it will produce a different result than the one you intended. Tell the 1.5 to have the janitor wash the windows and he'll pass this on as a threat: "Boy, you're in trouble with the front office. If you don't get those windows cleaned you're out of a job."

POSSESSIONS

Fiercely possessive of people and belongings, he'll actually destroy his own property if threatened. The child when someone tries to take a toy away screams, "It's mine!" In Anger a child will often destroy his toys rather than be forced to share them.

AS A PARENT

Here's the old-time Victorian father who rules with an iron hand. Easily upset by noise, clutter or enthusiastic play, the Anger person treats a child brutally, sometimes with heavy corporal punishment, as he tries to force the youngster into a mold with pain. (Incidentally, lower-tone parents will get angry at their children when they don't dare express this emotion to anyone else.)

I once saw an entire family driven into mutual covertness under the domination of a 1.5 father. This father firmly believed that every growing child should start each day with a huge bowl of oatmeal. Although his four boys soon despised oatmeal, Father was unrelenting. During all the growing-up years, there was an unvarying morning ritual: Father supervised his wife's preparation of the cereal and watched her serve it to the boys. Satisfied, he left for work. As soon as his car pulled out of the driveway each morning, however, four untouched bowls of oatmeal were dumped into the dog's dish and Mother started cooking bacon and eggs.

I never did learn how the dog survived on this peculiar diet.

IN LOVE

Any warmth or affection from a 1.5 would indicate that he'd changed tone.

It's traditional for rampaging, conquering armies to rape. We hear of the mad criminal who rapes. Today's 1.5 may be too civilized for actual rape, but he takes his woman with unfeeling abruptness, as tender as the bull storming through the barnyard. There's no smooth talk, no kindness, no consideration. The 1.5 woman uses sex as punishment, by withholding it.

He may be blatantly unfaithful. Although he's a poor lover, he'll never believe it. He's convinced (along with 1.1 and 1.2) that he's God's gift to women.

He's all right, I guess, if you happen to like nuzzling with a barracuda.

SUMMARY

"Stop!" the movie director screamed at the actors, "For God's sake, will you do this scene right?"

A psychology book described this director's behavior as a "mixture of emotions: anger, disgust, and impatience." Actually, the mixture is just several predictable characteristics of Anger, rather than separate emotions. They're all part of the 1.5 package.

If you suggest something fun to a 1.5, he'll snap, "I've got no time for that." He prefers to complain. No matter how much he acquires, he experiences no real enjoyment from it; he feels he deserves more.

He blames someone for every defeat. He's a grudge collector. If you say "I'm sorry, I take it all back," he won't let you take it back. He needs his grudges. They're a reserve supply of fuel to throw on his ever smoldering embers.

Armed with blind certainty, he's the fool who rushes in while the angels are still checking with their attorneys. If someone says "you're wrong," he's at 1.5 or 2.0. No other tone level will say this so bluntly.

The high-tone person drops to Anger when he's stopped; but he recovers quickly and forgets it. He's only in trouble if he makes a major decision or tries to fix something while he's still in this tone.

I was teaching the tone scale to a class in England once when I asked the students to give me examples of low-scale behavior. One student described watching his neighbor try to start the car one morning. The neighbor turned the key, pumped the accelerator; but the car refused to start. He lifted the hood, puttered around inside and tried again. Still no response. After some time at this fruitless endeavor, the man flew into a passionate fit. He opened the trunk, grabbed a big hammer, and ran to the front of the car. Screaming, ranting, raving, he began beating the hammer on the hood of the car . . . again and again. That's one way to fix things. Permanently.